Happy 2018! This week on Ask Riot, teams share their super serious New Year’s Resolutions.

COMPETITIVE

• Spin up the Definitely Not Victorious skin line for Silver players; make sure it’s still not for your main champ
• Add a “True Rank” for the tier you would be if it weren’t for your noob teammates
• Create “Autofill-Only” queue with 10x LP gains/losses
• Launch the new way to play League competitively: Trynamic Queue

CHAMPIONS TEAM

• After merging Champion Update and Champions teams we’re happy to announce our newest champ: Ryze, The Rogue Mage.
• Rework Ezreal’s passive to “Treasure Hunter: Whenever you do damage to Champion gain a consumable item.”

PERSONALIZATION (AKA SKINS TEAM)

• Six. More. Ahri. Skins.
• Remove damage bonus on Legendary+ skin tiers

PATCH NOTES

• Add a mission to read the goddamn patch notes

COMMUNICATIONS

• Finally tell Reddit how we really feel
• Never tell Boards how we really feel
• Correct “Ask Riot” product name to “Argue with Riot About Your Chat Ban and/or Tell Them Which Champions to Nerf”

GAMEPLAY

• Kleptomancy nerf: Your champion now occasionally steals your BE
• Add new “minion timers” to indicate time remaining until a minion respawns
  • Temporarily disable minion timers to address an in-game issue where Aurelion Sol’s stars don’t appear in the correct location.
    • Sunset minion timers

NARRATIVE

• All existing champions rewritten to be two people and a Darkin
• Yordles are now Vastaya in glamours

ESPORTS

• The esports team is really excited about the future of our 2018 resolutions and can’t wait to share them once we’ve wrapped talks with the involved organizations, players, and permanent partners.

PLAYER BEHAVIOR

• Train for the next Tyler1 Championship Series

OTHER META-GAME STUFF

• Give replays an “Export as Word Document” feature
• Add a “lowlights” tab (it just shows your replays, but to everyone)

MERCH

• All merch now made from vegan leather
• Try to stock fewer of everything

ECOMMERCE

• Orange Essence now disenchants into Blue Essence at a rate of 15.7% divided by your total play time multiplied by the number of champs you own minus 1% of the pre-conversion value plus the converted Blue Essence amount divided by the current patch’s Bronze V Yasuo win rate (adjusted by region on a bi-quarterly schedule)
• Launch RiotCoin ICO

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